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S.T.'s Reviews
We review our favorite things, only problem is that we usually hate what the other loves. Oh Joy.
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Type: Book |
So you're thinking of reading Snowcrash? That's great! Although if you don't have the book on hand I have a nice frugal way to substitute. Open up any DVD or electronic manual you might have laying around the house. Open 'er up and start reading, and put the Matrix on in the background. You've just had the same experience of reading Snowcrash. Snowcrash is the story of a young blasian man named Hiro Protagonist and the many times he cuts irrelevant character's heads off. Joining him on his quest is T.J. Hooker and her amazing technocolor skateboard. Also there's a glass throwing nuclear eskimo biker. In a nut shell the overall conflict is that a televangelist wants to use Babylonian scripture to control people, except it never comes to fruition and he's defeated by a pizza delivery tycoon. And I think there was a robot dog and a guy who was really a van in there somewhere. Anyway in conclusion don't read Snowcrash. - J
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If you're reading my review first then good. If not, then I know what you're thinking. THAT SOUNDS FREAKING AWESOME! And guess what? It totally is. He didn't even mention the GOOD parts. Like the Metaverse, the evolution of the internet. It's a full 3D world where if you can program it, it will be. There's an elite club that only the most skilled hackers can access and seriously, you can kill anyone you want cause just like in a video game, they don't really die in real life. (Knock on wood) So here's where Snow Crash is introuced. It's a new cyber drug that pretty much downloads a virus into your brain, reverting you back to talking gibberish like a baby and drooling like one too. Except that's the first language ever created or something. I don't remember because I was too distracted reading about the biker who rides around with a fucking NUKE in his side car. COME ON! How can anyone NOT like this book? Dystopian society, techno-slang, The Italian mob save the day and an anti-rape thing that sticks the guys dick with a needle full of sedative as soon as he gets in? That's pure genius. Not convinced? Ok, how about this. UPS or whatever has taken the next step in delivery service and hires 15 year old kids who ride these awesome futuristic skateboards to get around. These kids suck of course and everyone hates them and they die but they're good at their jobs. These kids are also total lazy asses who carry around giant harpoons and shoot them at your car to catch a ride. Read. Kids. Shoot. Harpoons. At. Cars. You cannot deny the brilliance of that. It's like that Back To The Future scene when Marty holds on to the back of the jeep to get away from Biff and Co. except all futuristic. Less futuristic than when Marty catches a ride on the back of the future jeep in Back To The Future II though. So maybe if it helps you understand how great this book is, you can consider it a Back To The Future 1.5. Except since time travel is obviously the main theme of those movies then you could also consider it kind of like a Back To The Future 4. I might be losing you. You're fading out of existance because I slept with you mom and your parents never hooked up. If you read Snow Crash right now then I promise I'll set things right. Think about it, ok? Things don't have to end this way. In conclusion, I submit to you my hypothesis that Joe has never read Snow Crash and is in fact a liar. Thank you. - A |
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